God is Enough.

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this blog, in all honesty it's starting as a written act of reckless abandonment. I've recently come to a place of absolute, complete, and total brokenness. Satan wedged difficult circumstances in my life as an attempt to break my faith. But my God is faithful in that He took this ugly, tragic mess and He used it to break me in a completely different way. In 2 Corinthians 1:9 I'm encouraged that God's grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. While Satan looked to use my sin and mistakes as a way to destroy, God overcame and used those same sins and mistakes to remind me of how vulnerable I am. He used them as a way to wreck any feelings of complacency I've allowed within my relationship with Him. Over the past few months my sights and hopes have been on anything and everything outside of God, himself. How dumb can I be? It's sad that I used God as a last resort. Of course when things get taken away, God is still God and He's still there...but why do I often wait until the other aspects of my life are stripped away until I notice Him? He's the fountain of every blessing I have, but I often keep Him in the background until I need Him. But the beauty of this is that when those blessings or things in life are gone, and God is all you have left, you realize that God is enough. Psalm 73:26 tells me that my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. I'm not proud of the journey I took to recognize this truth, but God revealed it regardless. I think pain came into play because God was breaking me of my pride, breaking me of my own ambitions and plans. When my agenda failed, and failed again, and then failed a few more times I realized that until I acknowledge that God has a perfect and beautiful plan for my life, I'm only going to face disappointment in my own intentions. Until I accept His plan wholeheartedly, without supplementing it with my own, I'm not getting the full benefit and He isn't getting the glory. In life, like in this blog, I don't know where I'm going. But God promises that if I let go of my plans in reckless abandon, that He will bless me beyond my wildest dreams.